Contingency Plan 17
by Bats-and-Birds
Summary: Superman is still ignoring Superboy, luckily Batman and Robin have a plan for everything, even if it isn't the most expected solution.


The Batman walked into the living room of Mount Justice to find the team huddled around Kid Flash's phone.

"What exactly are you doing?" His voice making everyone but Robin jump.

Their eyes widened and they started stumbling for an answer. He was so going to kill them.

"Uhhh..." Wally attempted to come up with a valid excuse, "we were just... Ummmm..."

"Prank calling the Watch Tower," Robin stated too enthusiastically.

"ROBIN!" The rest of the team shouted. How could he give them away like that.

Batman just raised an eyebrow. "Because Superman's on monitor duty?" They all nodded; Robin a lot more joyfully than the others. Of course the chances of him being severely punished for this were slightly lower than the rest of them. "He still hasn't spoken to you, has he," he half asked half stated to Superboy who shook his head. Weird, he seemed more concerned than angry. The Batman sighed, "I've tried to reason with him, but if he isn't going to listen..." He turned to Robin who heard the unsaid conclusion.

Robin gasped. "But I thought you said we'd never sink so low!" The others all looked at each other confused. What the hell was going on and how where they not getting in trouble.

"Wait," M'gann dared to ask, the curiosity too much for her. "What is it?"

"Contingency plan 17!" Robin explained with wide eyes. Of course that didn't really explain anything at all.

"Which is...?" Wally encouraged getting a little confused.

"A back up plan incase of Superman not cooperating," Batman elaborated.

"Where you do what?" Superboy asked. "Some how track down kyptonite and use it against him. He's _Superman_."

"And I'm the Batman." He said with a look that showed them he wasn't intimidated in the slightest. "I don't _need_ kyptonite to fight him. And even if I did why would I need to 'track it down', I've got more than enough already." Their eyes widened, glancing at his utility belt.

"But that's sounding more like contingency plan 19 than 17. And we kinda promised Superman we wouldn't use that one again," Robin stated, with a slight guilty look on his face. Their eyes widened even more, if that was possible.

"Which is why we're having to resort to something much more effective," the Batman continued.

"You won't hurt him will you?! I mean I know he's been ignoring me but I wouldn't want you to do something too extreme!" Superboy was starting to get nervous. If this plan was more effective than kyptonite...

Robin mischievous smile was becoming a little scary at this point, "Well, _we_ won't hurt him."

"Not directly at least," the Batman finished before turning to Robin, "Do you want to do the honours?"

Robin grinned and nodded taking the small black phone that Batman had just pulled out of his belt. The others watched as he flipped open the phone and dialled the number. Who was he calling? Some ally of theirs with a kyptonite missile. Was the call going to set something off in his apartment. Was the... The phone stopped ringing. They held their breath, in anticipation.

Robin had the phones volume turned up so they could all just about hear with out the person on the other line being able to hear background noise. So when the person on the other end picked up the phone they could all hear the old lady's "hello, who is this?" and were more than a little confused. This was most definitely not an army base.

"Hey Mrs Kent, it's me Robin," Robin replied gleefully.

Mrs Kent? As in Superman's mum? Wait what?

"Oh Robin honey, it's so nice to hear from you. Are you still coming around next weekend?"

"Of course! Can you make pie?!" The Dark Knight shot him a glare that was batspeak for 'manners!' and he added on, "...please. Yours are the best! ... Don't tell A I said that though."

"Of course I'll make pie," Ma Kent laughed. "So what have you been doing lately, Clark tells me you've got a team of your own now."

Robin smirked. This was going just as he wanted it to. "Yeah it's soooo fun. We get to go on all these awesome missions without any adults to boss us around."

Batman appeared to be raising an eyebrow behind his cowl, Robin stuck his tongue out at him in response. Sometimes they wondered how he got away with so much. I guess _that's_ why they call him the boy wonder.

"Oh that's nice dear. And all your teammates are being nice to you?"

"Uh huh, I've made sooo many friends." He flashed a smile at them. "There's Kid Flash and Miss Martian and Artemis and Aqualad and Superboy an-"

"Superboy?" Her voice taking a confused note.

Robin smirked for a second before moulding his features into a confused expression that'd come through in his words. "Yeah? Didn't Superman tell you?" He asked acting oblivious.

"No." She was starting to sound a little concerned.

"Oh well I suppose he has kind of been ignoring him." Robin said thoughtfully. "I guess it _does_ make sense for him not to tell you since he _has_ sort of been acting like he doesn't exist."

"Excuse me!"

"Well, I mean, I guess it probably was a bit of a shock for him to find out he had a clone, but that was weeks ago and, I mean he's technically his son when you think about it and its not like any of us know how to teach him to use his powers and I thought he would have at least told you guys that you practically had a grandson but I guess..." Robin began rambling as though he was only just thinking about this now.

"HE'S DOING WHAT!"

"I was shocked too I mean he's always been fine with me. I suppose some people just aren't good these situations but considering how well you raised him..." Laying on the complements, hey you could never suck up to someone too much, especially when they made good pie.

"THAT'S IT IM RINGING HIM RIGHT NOW!" Robin and Batman shared a smirk before Robin went back to his fake concern.

"Oh, you won't tell him it was me who told you, will you? I wouldn't want make him upset with me." He said in the cutest voice he could manage, which was pretty cute.

"No, of course not," her voice lightening to reassure him. "But I can't believe him. I have to go now and sort this out right away. I'll see you next week." She finished, hanging up but not before they heard her muttering something to herself about irresponsible young men and whether it was still possible to ground him at this age.

The others looked at each other in shock and then back at Batman and Robin. "Did you just..." Wally started but not quite able to find the words to finish his sentence.

"... Tell on the man of steel," Artemis finished for him, with the same look of astonishment, confusion and slight admiration as Wally and the others.

"Yeah, that," Wally agreed, still staring at them in shock.

"Well how else are we going to get him to listen?" Robin said as if it was obvious.

"And you think that'll actually work?" Superboy asked, his eyebrows coming together in concern.

"If not you have permission to carry out contingency plan 17 subsection Lane." The Dark Knight said in an authoritative voice. Robin nodded seriously before cracking up laughing.

"Can you imagine what she'd do to him," he managed to get out before laughing again.

"I don't need to," Batman said before turning and walking towards the zeta tubes.

Robin's eyes widened. "I am so coming to see this." Chasing after him.

They disappeared presumably to the watchtower with 5 teenagers still staring at the spot they'd vanished from. There were a couple of minutes of silence before Wally asked the question on all their minds. "What the hell just happened?"


End file.
